Sometimes all it takes is a smile...

This morning, on my way to work, cruising down Westheimer at about 45 or 50 mph...it was early and the lights are timed, if you go fast enough you can almost get the whole way down the street. So, I pull up to the stoplight and notice one lone headlight right behind me. The motorcycle cop pulls up along side and without thinking, I flash him a big smile and a "Good Morning"! He smiles back and says who's that behind you and I introduce Max. He drives off and I think...did I just get out of a ticket? Maybe I did, maybe not, but it was a nice way to start the day. He was sort of cute. Must be the uniform.

2006 Houston Auto Show

I'm going today with some friends from AA. Zane and dAAve. Maybe a few more. I think we'll have a good time. I'm certainly looking forward to it. I always like to go and see what I'm not going to buy this year. I've been sitting here listening to meditation music from Launchcast and reading the latest edition of Guideposts. Not a bad thing to do on a foggy Sunday morning.

I'm off to a meeting in a little bit. Now I finally have a chance to get rid of some of this candy! AA people LOVE candy!

Quotes that have meaning for me today...

"The real miracle of forgiveness is to remember and still forgive."--Len D. McMillan, in his book, Person to Person

"The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." Bernard Meltzer, professor emeritus of law, University of Chicago

"We know that God's arithmetic is somewhat odd. When you subtract by giving away, you get more."--Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu

I forgot to tell you.

I emailed my boss yesterday and told him I wanted $1 an hour raise. He emailed me back today and said he'd get it started next Monday. Gee, that was easy.

I've been sober for awhile now....

going on 8 months. Yet, I find myself angry with the neighbors who are all getting high. It's almost as if I envy them. I don't, really. I don't want to go back to the way I was. It's just that they're so inconsiderate. They park in my space, litter and have party's at 4 am. when I'm trying to sleep. And then I remember how everything used to be all about me. I was just as inconsiderate as they are now. Maybe they'll grow out of it, maybe they won't. Lord knows, it took me 36 years to see the light.

Hey Hey I'm the Candy Man!

Would you like some candy little boy? (only 18 & older need apply) Today I gave candy to my barber, the lady that cleaned my teeth at the dentist, my friend Craig, his neighbor Helen, my friends Jim & Jon and the guy next door. Tomorrow, it will be given to the girls in the office, a few of the truck drivers, the CFO and the CEO of the company that I work for. he he I'm just getting started. It seems that Skybars never made it to the South. No one I know who grew up here has ever heard of them.

Imagine my surprise when...

I saw the UPS guy a few minutes ago and he had a fairly good sized box for me. (no comment dAAve) It held a 36 count of Skybars and 36 count of Necco Wafers! JJ told me she was calling someone about my love of Skybars but I really didn't believe her. Gosh! Naturally I go for my 2nd part of the teeth cleaning at the dentist tomorrow. Guess what I'm going to do afterwards? Yep, eat candy! Any of my Houston buddies want some? Let me know.

I've been bitten!

Or stung. I'm not sure. All I know is I just woke up at 2:15 am. and I've got a large itchy welt on my head, my back and my fingers. They're getting bigger and itchier by the minute. I've smeared salve on them and just took Cordicen and now a cup of hot tea and hopefully things will subside. I know I have the occasional mosquito in here but they're usually in the bathroom. Could be spiders but it would have to be 3 of em all eating me at the same time. I hope it's not fleas...and yes, Max does have them at this time. He's due for a bath and occasionally he does get on the bed. Well, he'll get his bath tomorrow,no matter what. Well, time to go scratch my wounds. I'll try not to.

Speaking of being bitten, does anyone watch Surface? I really like that show but I haven't heard anyone speak about it at all.

Religion and me.

When Martin Luther King Jr. was killed that was the day I decided not to believe in church, God and Jesus. Many of the elders in my church were glad he was dead and I was appalled. I was young and under the impression that only good people went to church. What a dummy. My dad was raised Southern Baptist and wouldn't go to church except for holidays when Mom made him go. Through out my childhood my brother, sister and I were allowed to make up our own minds about religion, race, whatever. Mom and Dad didn't force their opinions on any of us as far as I know.
The other night when I was manning the phones, J. and I got into a discussion on religion. This is not a subject that I am usually comfortable talking about. It's only been this year, that I've been able to acknowledge the existence of God in my life and I believe that's because of AA. I've been able to open my eyes and see, for the first time, the possibilities that God is working with or through me. So anyway, I was describing my take on religion to J. and he said it reminded him of The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukov. I had read a book a couple years ago that really moved me but could not remember the name or author. So, rather than go out and buy one, I looked at my local library, online, found one and ordered it to be delivered to my local branch. Should be here in a few days. I love the internet!

Just catching up from Saturday.

Here are the rules:1. Grab the nearest book2. Open the book to page 123.3. Find the fifth sentence4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences (#5,6,7) on your blog, along with these instructions.5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it. Just grab what is closest. No cheating.

And so:
coziness n ;l. -ES the state of being cozy adj. cozier, coziest snug and comfortable cozily adv
cozy n pl. -zies a covering for a teapot
crampit n pl. -s a piece of equipment used in curling

These are from The Official Scrabble Player Dictionary copywrite 1978. I bought it brand new.

JJ just left a comment on my previous post and this was my answer to her.

Oh honey, I'm fine. I've just had a very busy day yesterday. I got up at 5 am, did laundry, shopping, cooking, napping and then at 7:30 pm picked up J. (guy I asked out on a date who turned me down because he's just newly sober and has decided not to date for the first year like his sponsor (and mine before to me) suggested but said he'd be interested when he could) and we went to Lambda at 7:30, heard the speaker meeting at 8 pm and then from 9 to midnight manned the phones for the AA interfaith group. Got home at 12:40 am went to bed around 1 am and the upstairs neighbor's party got kicking around 3:30 am. I got out of bed at 4:30 am , went shopping, cooked and ate breakfast, cooked lunch, made bread, watched a rented video on the big TV and went to bed at 2 pm and just now got up. It's 4:20 pm. Going to start dinner and hopefully get to bed at a decent hour tonight so I can get up and do it all over again tomorrow. Well, maybe not all. So, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Love you, Larry & Max

It's 3:15 am. and I'm awake because....

I have so much going on in my head and all around me that's it's hard not to be a little scared. I've got all these changes about to happen (guess it's called life) and I'm trying to accept it all without flipping out. Here's what I'm thinking about on a daily basis: 1. My job is expanding and moving. 2. I may or could get a promotion w/pay. 3. I'm thinking about dating. (this one really scares me) 4. I'm going to the dentist today for my first sober teeth cleaning. 5. I'm thinking about dating. 6. I need to train Max to be caged. 7. I want to move to a full size apartment (more than one room) 8. I may get off SSD. 9. I'm finally starting the steps with my sponsor. 10. Wondering if a testosterone shot would work? 11. A PT cruiser now only costs $13,000.

So, I guess I'm normal, right?

I was talking to Mommie Dearest about

walking home from grade school and the candy we used to get on the way. She didn't remember Fizzies. I then reminisced about the licorice that was shaped like a small record. Red or Black with a candy ball in the middle and Lik-im-aid strips and envelopes. Fireballs (no comment dAAve?), Bit-o-Honey. I loved Fizzies! Didn't know that they made a comeback in the nineties but then the company went out of business. Oh well. The good ole days.

Keep your fork.

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live.Therefore, as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service,what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her."There's one more thing," she said excitedly." What's that?" the Pastor's reply."This is very important," the young woman continued."I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked."Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor.The young woman explained "My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement."'In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say,' Keep your fork.'It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming ... like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!'"So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder,'What's with the fork?'"Then I want you to tell them: ' Keep your fork, the best is yet to come.' ''The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death.But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. In fact, she had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge.She KNEW that something better was coming.

Sort of reminds me of AA.

Our Dogs

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.-Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.-Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.-Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.-M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.-Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.-Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.-Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.-Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. -James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.-Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.-Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!-Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.-Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.-Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'- Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.-Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.-Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

It was two years ago and maybe right about this time of day, that I crawled out of bed after (who knows how long) drinking, drugging and wondering where was my car. I decided to change my life, or at least to try and promised myself I'd go to an AA meeting that day. I'd been to a meeting once or twice before in the previous 20 years, but as it turned out, this was the one that made the difference. I know I felt sick but I don't remember anything else. I don't remember who took me and I'm sure someone did. I wouldn't have gone by myself. I don't remember the meeting but I do remember feeling all alone in the world and the room. I just knew I couldn't go on the way I had for so many years. It wasn't working. Something had to change. I had to change. And it wasn't easy or quick. It took a long time to get as low as I was and would take quite some time to get back up. My sponsor, Norris, was there for me, to help me understand, to see that it would work out if I could just be patient. He was careful not to push too hard or step on my toes. I didn't like being told what I needed to do. Still don't like it much but I figure your entitled to your opinion, even if I don't always agree. And I made friends, good one's, people I knew I could count on when I needed to. Not like the so-called friends I had at the end. I had this rosey picture in my head that said everything would be wonderful and the shit that keeps happening to me would stop and everything would be better. Well, the shit didn't stop happening but almost everything did get better. I got honest, with myself and began to see things in a different light. So Today is an anniversary, of sorts and I'm glad I'm able to be here to celebrate it.

One other thing. When I first started blogging, I couldn't spell worth shit! My grammar and punctuation were horrible. I hadn't written anything that anyone else would need to read in many, many years. You know that old adage that says if you don't use it you lose it? Well it's true. I'm still trying not to end my sentences in a preposition (Scott) but I know I spell way better than I used to.(oops) As for grammar and punctuation, well, I'm trying. So not only is this blogging thingy good therapy, it's also good for reawakening the mind. A wasted mind is a terrible thing. (that could be taken two ways)

I did say he works in mysterious ways, didn't I?

So, I get home from work, I'm looking at the mail, walking into the kitchen area when I realize I'm walking on water. Not in the Biblical sense but actually wading through the kitchen. Water from above and I don't mean Heaven. There is water all over everything I own in the kitchen area, including the stove and fridge and my new food processor! You can imagine, I wiped that down first. Called the landlord and the guys came and then checked with the upstairs neighbor who mentioned when she took her shower today the curtain went over the drain and the shower overflowed. Judging by the amount of water in here, she didn't notice it until her shower was finished. I'm still not moving this month. I'm still going to get apartment insurance this month. I still think I'm going to do the next right thing. At least, I'll try. The guys are going to repatch the pipe and replace where the ceiling came down in the flood. Maybe that will hold for a few more months. Oh yeah, I didn't yell or scream or throw things or bitch anyone out or even think about drinking. I am not happy about having to wash everything with disenfectant. Who knows where that waters been? Ewwww.

By the way, the art is from some guy named Scott Woodard. Pretty good, eh?

Remember the day I decided to move?

That was the day I walked into work and found out we were moving. This morning I decided not to move right now because I'm really afraid of what Max might do when left alone in a cage in the new apartment. I need to spend time training him rather than move and then get evicted because my dog is acting badly. He has a very loud bark and he cries really well. So, I walk into work and find out we're not moving, where they told me we were moving, after all. I'm glad I didn't move to be closer to work. Since they keep changing their minds. Best to just wait and see what happens. Don't you think? Besides, maybe the perfect apartment will come along. And the pipe, well, I've decided to live with it for now. I'll get apartment insurance (something I should have had all along) and if the pipe breaks and everything gets covered with sewage, I'll have that option available. God really does work in mysterious ways.

I found my apartment.

Building must have been built in the 1960's.

Bedroom, the bath is to the right, all light blue old-timey tile. Very nice. Door to the left is the walk in closet.

Looking in from the front door. Living room is about 12 x 12 or including the dining area, 12 x 22.
Kitchen has lots of storage and a brand new large electric range. Definetly a selling point with me.

Now I just have to decide wether or not to move. I'm going to have the guys from work come to my current apartment and check out the sewer pipe. If it's ok, I'll stay here. If it's not, I'll take the plunge ( is that a pun?) and move. I found this cute apartment down on Binz. It's in a really nice neighborhood and just down the street from the Children's Museum and for that matter, all of the museaums for Houston. Wish me luck.