I don't want to change to the new Blogger.
It works just fine the way it is. At least for me, anyhow. I have to remember to try and be accepting of change. Change is everywhere and the older I get the less receptive I am towards it. I'll do it eventually. Anybody have anything good to say about it?
And now the real reason why I haven't written lately. About a month ago I realized, with the help of my therapist, that I'd been sexually molested when I was 12 or 13 years old. I always knew that I'd been introduced to and forced to have sex with my older cousin but because I'm gay, I never thought of it as abuse. Finally, after some intense probing from my therapist (no pun intended) I was able to realize what had really happened to me. I immediately broke down and cried and then I went numb. Since then I've been plagued by neck and back pain and fits of anger. I believe they're from what I'd realized and are sort of my way of working through all this. My therapist has been there for me whenever I call, night or day and I do appreciate his commitment to helping me through this. I haven't, nor have I wanted to, drink over this. It's never really crossed my mind. What has crossed my mind is to go to AZ and kill the motherfucker! I'm trying to forgive him. It's not easy. He's already the pariah of our family. Not allowed to come back to the home town. I believe he's been arrested in 1 or 2 states already. At least I didn't turn out like him. So, that's what's been going on and I promise to write more often...now that I've gotten over my fear. Day 70