I don't want it to be all about me!
I just finished composing a no thank you letter to my foster sister. She called last night and wanted to know if I was willing to take her 80 year old mother with me on my trip to Pennsylvania. As she was asking I could feel myself getting very quiet. I said, yes, probably, but that I'd have to think about it, and then later I realized I was feeling really grumpy. Ha. Here's the letter I composed to her just now at 2:15 am. this morning:
You know I love you and your Mom very much and I'd do almost anything for you but, I really need (want) to do this alone. I've thought of little else but this trip for the last month. Your going to think I'm some kind of hypocrite but I barely smoke in the car now as it is. I'm going to continue (at least for the time being) to limit my smoking while I'm driving. One an hour, if that. (Colletta chain smokes)
It will be nice to do whatever I want to do (God and traffic willing) instead of worrying about the comfort or wishes of someone else for 2.5 days. You know I would, care that is, and if you can believe it, I might need some decompression time from work and then from my own family. Nobody pushes my buttons like they do.
Please don't think me too selfish. Your Mom and I will do something together again soon, but just not this time.
Love you both,
Uncle Larry & Max
I could come up with a multitude of other reasons why I want to go alone. I won't bore you with the details. I really don't want this to be all about me. I need some feedback here, please. I want to do the next right thing and I want to do it today so there's no time for anyone to get the wrong idea. Does that make sense? Please let me know what you would do. I value your opinions. Thanks.