Link I'll never drink again Vol. 2: Records Manager sounds so much better

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Records Manager sounds so much better

than File Clerk. Yep, I'm up obsessing about my job. I was laying there, in bed, thinking about the company I now work for. It's only a small company. They only did 1.5 million last year and I guess they're still growing. I'm now sunk in all the paperwork from just this year. I have all of last years and a little bit of 2003 piled up around my office. All of it needs to be filed. Supposedly what I'm to do is rearrange all of the client and vendor files, file, sort etc. There are two girls in the office, one in receivables and one in accounts payables. Those two ladies are the reason I have this job. Sometime in 2004 they gave up telling the owner that they needed help. They were doing all they were supposed to do plus dispatching and then filing in their spare time. They stopped filing. They started piling. It only took a year before the owner realized that he couldn't find anything, anymore. They then hired me. An ex-records manager sort of person without any formal training in Records Management. I've just a lot of experience and an uncanny ability to organize. Well, I've got things organized now to where I (and anybody I explain my system to) can look in the right places. I've done a lot in this past month only working part time. Now, I'm afraid, I'm slipping into the abyss I think of as full time. I can't work full time. I'll get sick again. I'll make myself sick again. I'll get totally stessed out and only think, eat and sleep the job. I don't want to go there again....unless it means a lot of money and I sort of doubt that's in the near future. No I mean it, I don't want to go back to the way I was. No wonder I drank when I got home. I was always so keyed up that many times I interrupted people while they were talking because I was in too much of a hurry to even let them complete their thoughts. It was all about me. Hmmm. I wasn't even thinking about my alcoholism when I started this post.
Maybe what this post is really about is my fear of returning to the old me. I could see it happening. I wasn't so bad back then was I? Ohhh I was. They say you can't go back but the truth is you can. You can if you stop thinking about what's really going on with you. I can if I just go blindly into another form of addiction. The workalcoholic.
Well, I feel better now. I think I can sleep now. Nuff said.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It sounds to me as if somebody, possibly, needs a meeting. Queen Noor

2:54 PM  
Blogger Scott W said...

LOL Queen Noor, spoken like a true sponsor!!!

4:34 PM  
Blogger doughgirl said...


Dont do it...Dont relapse into the horrifying world of workalohism...I did it, It was no better than the first time. The progression is Take it from me :)

9:27 PM  
Blogger recoveryroad said...

That's how this illness works, especially when we're feeling low or tired.....

"It/I wasn't so bad, was I?"

The meetings remind on a daily basis how fucked-up I was.

Good luck, ODAAT.


5:01 AM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Referring to the first 2 comments above:

God won't give you more than you can handle. It may take some "adjustments" in routine. We both know many recovering alkcoholics who work full-time, go to the gym, go to meetings etc...

I'm just sayin ...

6:05 AM  
Anonymous One of the women in the office! said...

Hang in there! It will get better and remember to always keep a positive outlook on life and work. We are never given more than we can actually handle may it be by god or some universal being. Besides, we like having you here and we don't need you sick! We need you healthy so you can keep us organized. Luv ya!

11:03 AM  
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