I Was Talking to My Neighbor
Wade last night. We were comparing notes about how some days we don't even think about alcohol and some days we do. I often go for days without thinking about taking a drink and then out of nowhere it comes. The want, the craving, the need for alcohol. Sometimes it's only for a second, sometimes it lasts for days. But there's a difference in me that wasn't there before. I used to never think about the consequences of my actions. I never really gave any serious thought about anything except how I could get my next drink. I was using the drink to hide from the reality of my life. Now, I still get the cravings but I don't act on them. I try some of the tricks of AA and wait for it to stop. I know some of it is about romanticizing my old actions (the one's I remember) and some of it's about wanting to escape whatever is bothering me at the moment, and sometimes I swear, it's the full moon. None of those reasons are good enough for me to give up my sobriety. At least I'm not going to drink today.