Link I'll never drink again Vol. 2: I Was Talking to My Neighbor

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I Was Talking to My Neighbor

Wade last night. We were comparing notes about how some days we don't even think about alcohol and some days we do. I often go for days without thinking about taking a drink and then out of nowhere it comes. The want, the craving, the need for alcohol. Sometimes it's only for a second, sometimes it lasts for days. But there's a difference in me that wasn't there before. I used to never think about the consequences of my actions. I never really gave any serious thought about anything except how I could get my next drink. I was using the drink to hide from the reality of my life. Now, I still get the cravings but I don't act on them. I try some of the tricks of AA and wait for it to stop. I know some of it is about romanticizing my old actions (the one's I remember) and some of it's about wanting to escape whatever is bothering me at the moment, and sometimes I swear, it's the full moon. None of those reasons are good enough for me to give up my sobriety. At least I'm not going to drink today.

1 Comments:

Blogger doughgirl said...

Great post Hannen,

Really hits home today. I also wanted to smash someone in the face today, but alas I can't do that either, so I'll suck it up and deal with it :(

9:57 PM  

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