Link I'll never drink again Vol. 2: I've been drinking for the last 3 days.

Monday, December 04, 2006

I've been drinking for the last 3 days.

There, I've said it. I'm going to start back on the meetings. Guess I'll try the Post Oak club since it's in the building I work in. It will be scary going back especially to somewhere I've never been before but I can do it. All of the meetings are the same, aren't they? You know I've never been anywhere but the Lambda meetings. Oh well, time to try new things since the old ways didn't work too good. I feel all kinds of ways right now. Depressed, naturally but not much shame for some reason. I feel like it's OK for me to screw up and that I'll be forgiven if I try again. As long as I keep trying there's hope...right? My job is good, my friends and family will forgive me, I think, as long as I keep trying...right? But I'm not doing this for you or them but for me. I've called Mom and told her...she says she knew already. My sister too. Who did I think I was fooling? Me, that's who. Well guess I'll call all my friends and fess up. I've already called the therapist for another session. Confession is supposed to be good for the soul. Monday December 4, 2006 my new sobriety date. I just have to get through today...right? Right.

11 Comments:

Blogger recoveryroad said...

Oh, Hannen. You take it steady, y'hear?

Congratulations on a new sobriety date.

One day at a time. Just for today.

Do a meeting and see where it takes you?

Good luck. I'm rooting for you, matey.

Kenny

2:46 PM  
Blogger Redhead Gal said...

I am rooting for you as well, Hannen. There never has to be another Day 1...

6:56 AM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Lambda, Post Oak, Heights or whereever. It doesn't matter where you go, as long as you go (if you're gonna do it the AA way).
Glad you are being honest; that's always a good start.
Good luck.

8:13 AM  
Blogger Scott W said...

You might find this excerpt from Bill W useful:

As Bill Sees It

Never Again!, p. 16

"Most people feel more secure on the twenty-four-hour basis than
they do in the resolution that they will never drink again. Most of them have broken too many resolutions. It's really a matter of personal choice; every A.A. has the privilege of interpreting the
program as he likes.

"Personally, I take the attitude that I intend never to drink again.
This is somewhat different from saying, 'I will never drink again.' The latter attitude sometimes gets people in trouble because it is undertaking on a personal basis to do what we alcoholics never could do. It is too much an act of will and leaves too little room for the idea that God will release us from the drink obsession provided we follow the A.A. program."

Letter, 1949

We are there when you need us.

8:23 AM  
Anonymous Brad said...

Congrats on coming back! I was a constant relapser, and finally came back last December. You might feel weak and ashamed right now, but give it time!

All we have is today, and each day is a gift! Any meeting you walk into has the same purpose...to help each other get and stay sober...

God Bless,
Brad :-)

10:18 AM  
Blogger recoveryroad said...

Hope you're well today, H. Thinking of you.

K

1:04 PM  
Blogger Trudging said...

Honesty is a good start!

8:55 AM  
Anonymous Weezie said...

When you meet with your therapist, why not explore the situation with your mother and sister. You seek their approval, yet, as you've stated earlier, they never bother to call you. And if they already "knew," why couldn't they bother to even call?
You're a big boy, you don't need to care what others think. Do this for yourself.

12:45 PM  
Blogger Scott W said...

Care to check in and let us know how you are doing?

11:10 PM  
Blogger NMAMFQLMSH said...

I'm still seeing you bro! Stay strong and welcome back baby.
JJ

2:30 PM  
Blogger FOOD & POKER FANATIC said...

I love you....no matter what!!!

10:56 AM  

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