Sorry guys. I know it's been a while....

I've been busy. Who hasn't been? Sometimes it's just hard to balance everything. I'm just coming out of a 4 day funk which started on Tuesday night with a little sore throat. Wednesday at 9am the fever hit and by noon it was up to 103.2 Not a pleasant day. I was having trouble catching my breath but I wasn't congested at all. No cough or sign of a cold. Weird. Called the clinic and got an appt. for the next day at 4 pm and at 3 pm. my temperature dropped to 99. I still went, they still gave me an antibiotic and by 5 pm my temp was back up to 102.2 Had another miserable night and woke up with a temp of 100 which by this point made me happy. Had another not so good night and woke up this morning feeling almost normal. Well, normal temperature, I mean. I'm still week and shaky and I'm still not very hungry but I know I don't have any water weight on me at the moment. So because of all of those erratic sleep cycles I spent most of today napping and now I can't sleep. Figures.

A few moments ago, when I was in bed trying to sleep, I said the Serenity prayer. I've been building up a resentment. Actually, I think this one has been going on for about 25 years. Family stuff. We all get along really well when were together, which is about once a year. It's when we're apart that my resentment starts to build. My mom and her boyfriend left for Washington, D.C. for a little trip and didn't know when they'd be back. They left on Tuesday. This morning I tried her house...no answer and her beau's cell phone...no answer so I left messages at both to call me. Did it again this afternoon. This evening called my brother..no answer and called my sister...no answer and left the same message wondering if anyone had talked to mommie dearest. No return calls yet and not likely to be tonight. I checked the weather station and Pennsylvania is still on the map so maybe one of them will call tomorrow. They almost never return my calls. They always say they meant to call but forgot. They don't ever just call to see how I am. If I didn't call them, they probably wouldn't notice. Kind of sad. They say they love me and I know I love them...their just so busy. Like I'm not? Ah well. I feel better for putting it down here at least. Guess I won't write them that nasty letter after all. I don't want to burn any bridges. I just want to be included in the family now that I'm sober, even if I am 1000 miles away. It shouldn't be too much to ask. Then again. Norris once told me I can't make people think what I want them to and I guess I'll just have to live with it. NIght. I promise I'll write more often.