Link I'll never drink again Vol. 2: After last night's calm, relaxed, nothing new

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

After last night's calm, relaxed, nothing new

post last night I went to bed at 10:45. I just woke up like I've been doing a lot lately at 3 am.. I know what's happening and even though I can see it coming I don't feel like I'm coping as well as I should. What am I talking about? I'm returning to my workaloholic life and it scares me. When I woke up I was dreaming or thinking about work. About all I have to do today. About all I want to do in the future. About all I think I need to do now. I did the same thing yesterday morning. Maybe part of it is being afraid to have so much free time on my hands. That used to drive me to drinking over and over. My life is very full right now. I'm always working. Reading. Visiting friends. Watching videos. Surfing the web. And of course, there's always cooking, cleaning and laundry to do. Somehow it's been a very well balanced kind of life, to date. I don't want to lose that. It took me a long time to be comfortable with myself. Drinking was always the perfect escape for too much time on my hands. Ah well, maybe I'm worried but by acknowledging that I am and thinking about why, means I won't let it sneak up on me and do what I can to make sure I don't revert to my old coping ways. I guess being aware and blogging and seeing my therapist are all good ways to do that. Don't you think?

On a lighter note. My brother turned me on to a list of concerts to watch. This is something I have never done on DVD. So I got the first one in the mail and thought, "I'll never watch this." Well, the other morning (around 3:00 am) I started watching The Last Great Traffic Jam: Traffic Live in Concert. This DVD pay tribute to the late Jim Capaldi, who died 6 months before it's release. It includes 10 shows with the members of the Grateful Dead and Jerry Garcia (who is dead too, as if you didn't know). Yesterday morning I heard "Low Spark". I'm actually enjoying this and do look forward to the next one. These DVD's are perfect to watch and listen to while blogging or doing the dishes. I'll let you know what comes next.

Mr. Fantasy (first U.S. pressing issued with title Heaven Is In Your Mind) – 1967
Traffic – 1968
Last Exit (side 2 live at The Fillmore West) – 1969
Best of Traffic (compilation) – 1969
John Barleycorn Must Die – 1970
Welcome to the Canteen (live) – 1971
The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys – 1971
Shoot Out at the Fantasy Factory – 1973
On The Road (live on tour in Germany) – 1973
When the Eagle Flies – 1974
Heavy Traffic (compilation) – 1975
More Heavy Traffic (compilation) – 1975
Smiling Phases (compilation) – 1991
Far From Home (Winwood/Capaldi) – 1994
Heaven Is in Your Mind (compilation) – 1998
Traffic Gold (compilation) – 2005


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