Have you heard about this?

http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/theusvsjohnlennon/

Bungi Jumping?

I feel like I'm right on the edge of a bridge, about to jump off and I've no idea if it's safe to jump or not. I got the raise I asked for. The CFO said we need to sit down and talk about some issues. I said fine...whenever he wants. I'm not worried about it. But today, while I was shredding some documents, I came upon some proposals that change everything. Seems we're going to expand some more. We just bought out 6 other company's last year and it looks like we're going to do it again. I realize now that I'm in a very good position to jump back on the corporate band wagon, if I want. I could consider myself one of the luckiest Record Managers alive. It's not often you get to start out with the company instead of coming in and seeing what kind of record keeping was done before you got there and having to clean up the mess. It's a Records management dream and I'm the star.

So, now what do I do? I have a good head for this kind of work but I'm not accredited. I don't have a college degree, heck, I only have 1.5 semesters of college and that was in Elementary Education. Will their insurance be all I need it to be? I have my HIV status to think of and I'll be 55 next month and supposedly only have 10 good working years left in me. Ha. The CFO offered me a decent salary in an offhand kind of way and to be honest I'm not sure that's what I need. I'm not sure what I really want to do. I'm not sure I want to give up this life style I'm now living. Yes, I could get a real apartment with more than one room and I could have the "expensive" HD cable. But, there's really nothing else I'd change. I don't know, I don't know. I do know I can't sleep from thinking about all of this. Well, I'm not going to decide tonight. Yawn. Maybe now I can sleep.

Ok. I slept. When I woke up I thought: a digital camera, new shirts that I can button up to the neck so I can wear a tie, tinted windows for the car and mud flaps. That's all I'd change if I took the job. Oh well, off to work I go.

I've been collecting these over the last couple weeks. Just thought I'd share.
They're all from:
Jack C.
The Serenity Project
jack@thecompleteserenityprayer.com


Serenity Blocker: Envy
Program Principle: Acceptance leads to serenity; envy to ongoing dissatisfaction and dis-ease.
"If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang."
Charley Reese, Contemporary American journalist


Serenity Practice: Kindness...
Program Principle: Be ye kind.
“He who distributes the milk of human kindness, cannot help but spill a little on himself.”
J.M, Barrie, Scottish novelist and dramatist, best remembered for inventing the character of Peter Pan (1860-1937)


Serenity Practice: Praise...
Program Principle: Praise builds, criticism tears down. Would you like to be a builder or a wrecking ball?
“Appreciative words are the most powerful force for good on earth!”
George W. Crane, American publisher (1843-1913)


Serenity Practice: Selflessness
Program Principle: We find peace by living for others, not for own edification.
“Real education should educate us out of self into something far finer; into a selflessness which links us with all humanity.”
Nancy Witcher Astor, first woman to serve as a member of the British House of Commons. (1879 - 1964)


Serenity Practice: Surrender...
Program Principle: Some of us tried to hold onto our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
"Life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice."
Maya Angelou, contemporary American poet.


Serenity Practice: Giving...
Program Principle: Generosity is an unfailing sign of spirituality.
“Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege."
John D. Rockefeller Jr., American philanthropist, son of the founder of Standard Oil. (1874-1960)


Serenity Practice: Humor...
Program Principle: The key to sanity is a good sense of humor.
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road."
Henry Ward Beecher, American Congregationalist clergyman and reformer. (1813-1887)


Serenity Practice: Vision...
Program Principle: The program constitutes a new vision for life. Sometimes the vision is clear, sometimes not.
“I'm a peripheral visionary."
Steven Wright, contemporary American comedian


Serenity Builder: Our positive attitude...
Program Promise: Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change...
"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."
Epictetus, Greek Stoic philosopher. (55 - 135)

They asked me and I delivered.

The CEO and the CFO showed up in my office last week and asked me to research and recommend a multi-functional color copier/fax/printer/scanner with email capabilities, etc. Heck I'd never even heard of one before. So, got on the internet and called a few companies, went out to their offices and saw a few demos and picked Ikon Office Solutions because their copier could fold paper. Got a price, gave it to the CFO who signed it today and we'll get the thing next week sometime. It will be really great once it's up and running and all the computer issues are worked out. They made me the administrator for the darn thing. So this morning I emailed the CFO and asked him what my job title is. Am I the Office Manager or Records Manager or the Office/Records Manager? I also told him I'd like another raise of $1.00 and that I want a flat screen monitor for my computer, just like everyone else has and I want business cards too. He said we'll talk about it on Monday but he didn't really see why there would be a problem. I think most of the people there make at least $10 and hour so what I'm asking for isn't unreasonable. It doesn't really matter to me either way. I'd never quit over $1.00 But you never know what will happen if you don't ask. And I do want to know what my title really is. I was hired as a file clerk and we've never changed my title. I'm way more that a file clerk and they know it! It's wonderful to work for a company who really appreciates what you do for them. I often hear "thank you" and "good job, Larry". That's something that not a lot of people hear on a regular basis at their jobs. I'm very grateful and I believe I owe it all to being sober. I don't think I'd be able to handle this job if I was still escaping by drinking. I'm one lucky guy.

I'm turning into my father....

What do they say? The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. I was just sitting here thinking about the trip Jewel and I are going on in a few weeks. We're going to Canyon Lake and we'll have a little cabin with a coffee pot, AC, a couple beds, a microwave and no stove. There's a picnic table and barbecue pit out front just off the porch. I have a list going of stuff to take but it's mostly cooking supplies and food. Guess what I'm going to do on this trip? I'll get up early in the morning, start the coffee and start up the grill so I can make a great, outdoorsy breakfast for Jewel when she gets up. Lunch will no doubt be a sandwich etc., and then dinner will be what ever we caught in the lake or we could go out to eat or I could shoot a cow. We'll just have to play it by ear. But for me, it's all about the cooking. Just like dad. He was the first guy I ever saw who enjoyed and took pride in his cooking. I always felt it was OK for me to enjoy it too. It's one of the things I was most worried about losing when I got sober. I used to love drinking and cooking. It didn't take long for me to realize that I still love to cook even without the drinking. It's too bad I don't live with anyone who can appreciate my successes in the kitchen. Thank Heaven I have Max and the neighbors. They all eat really well.

All the pictures I've ever seen of dad in his last years, on vacation with the family are all taken in the kitchen. Mom says he never went to the beach with the family. He stayed in the cottage and cooked...OK and drank, but mainly he cooked. I hope we all remembered to thank him and praise him for his hard work. He deserved it.

I love this one.

Serenity Practice: Vision...

Program Principle: The program constitutes a new vision for life. Sometimes the vision is clear, sometimes not.

“I'm a peripheral visionary."
Steven Wright, contemporary American comedian.

Jack C.
The Serenity Project
jack@thecompleteserenityprayer.com
http://www.thecompleteserenityprayer.com

After last night's calm, relaxed, nothing new

post last night I went to bed at 10:45. I just woke up like I've been doing a lot lately at 3 am.. I know what's happening and even though I can see it coming I don't feel like I'm coping as well as I should. What am I talking about? I'm returning to my workaloholic life and it scares me. When I woke up I was dreaming or thinking about work. About all I have to do today. About all I want to do in the future. About all I think I need to do now. I did the same thing yesterday morning. Maybe part of it is being afraid to have so much free time on my hands. That used to drive me to drinking over and over. My life is very full right now. I'm always working. Reading. Visiting friends. Watching videos. Surfing the web. And of course, there's always cooking, cleaning and laundry to do. Somehow it's been a very well balanced kind of life, to date. I don't want to lose that. It took me a long time to be comfortable with myself. Drinking was always the perfect escape for too much time on my hands. Ah well, maybe I'm worried but by acknowledging that I am and thinking about why, means I won't let it sneak up on me and do what I can to make sure I don't revert to my old coping ways. I guess being aware and blogging and seeing my therapist are all good ways to do that. Don't you think?

On a lighter note. My brother turned me on to a list of concerts to watch. This is something I have never done on DVD. So I got the first one in the mail and thought, "I'll never watch this." Well, the other morning (around 3:00 am) I started watching The Last Great Traffic Jam: Traffic Live in Concert. This DVD pay tribute to the late Jim Capaldi, who died 6 months before it's release. It includes 10 shows with the members of the Grateful Dead and Jerry Garcia (who is dead too, as if you didn't know). Yesterday morning I heard "Low Spark". I'm actually enjoying this and do look forward to the next one. These DVD's are perfect to watch and listen to while blogging or doing the dishes. I'll let you know what comes next.

Discography
Mr. Fantasy (first U.S. pressing issued with title Heaven Is In Your Mind) – 1967
Traffic – 1968
Last Exit (side 2 live at The Fillmore West) – 1969
Best of Traffic (compilation) – 1969
John Barleycorn Must Die – 1970
Welcome to the Canteen (live) – 1971
The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys – 1971
Shoot Out at the Fantasy Factory – 1973
On The Road (live on tour in Germany) – 1973
When the Eagle Flies – 1974
Heavy Traffic (compilation) – 1975
More Heavy Traffic (compilation) – 1975
Smiling Phases (compilation) – 1991
Far From Home (Winwood/Capaldi) – 1994
Heaven Is in Your Mind (compilation) – 1998
Traffic Gold (compilation) – 2005

I'm leaving town again.

My foster sister, Jewel and I are going to Canyon Lake on August 5-8th. We're going to stay at this camp site. We'll get a cabin like the one's pictured here.
We expect to go tubing, hiking and maybe we'll rent a canoe. I seem to remember paddling one while in my teens. With a life jacket, we'll be fine. It's just a chance to get out of town and get back (not too far back) to nature. The kitchen doesn't have a stove but there's a Bar-b-que pit out front. Should be fun. I've been working 8 and 9 hour days lately. We got 4 new employees and all their stuff yesterday. They all seem nice and I'm sure we'll get along. I'm now working on a minimum of 5 projects for the company. It's nice to be needed...but I have to remember it's not supposed to be a full time job. I'm hoping in the next few months to complete a few of these projects and to give some of them to someone else to complete. We'll just have to wait and see. Other than that, nothing really new. Still sober. Still glad I am.

One of my friends just suggested that maybe Ken wasn't really dead, but in hiding. He said rich people have a way of disappearing sometimes. I never thought of it. I hope someone reliable is checking the DNA. Hope you all had a great 4th. I really enjoyed the fireworks this year. Took Max and walked over to a friend's house and watched from his porch. My little car that isn't even 2 months old just turned over 5,000 miles on the odometer. Guess if I ever sell it I'll not be able to claim low mileage. Oh well, I've been starting to save up more time at work and will probably be able to take some more vacation time by next month. I'm thinking about a road trip to Lake Buchanan or Lake LBJ. We'll see. Later all. L.