Link I'll never drink again Vol. 2: October 2006

Friday, October 20, 2006

I just went into the closet.

Not that one! I went into my storage closet to look for the heater for the bathroom since Winter is here. I think my (packrat) sister told me I should save all the boxes that my appliances came in so I could send them back if they broke or I could use them for Christmas packages. Remember I live in an efficiency and every bit of space is important. So when I went searching for the heater I found boxes for: speakers, phone, fan, humidifier, air filter, food processor and vcr. I'm tossing them all.

All kinds of good news...

I got my bloodwork back yesterday and saw the Dr. Looks like my numbers are good enough that I don't have to go back on the HIV drugs at this time. Yippe! I have, as of 10 minutes ago, started on Lipitor for my waaay toooo high cholesterol. That's OK. I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it to 60 or 70. OK. Or 80.

I'm having dental problems which is something I always drank over, before. I was (am) so scared of the dentist that I never went because I was always drunk by the time my appointment was due. Every time. For years and years. When I finally got sober, I told myself that I could face anything, even the dentist. Everytime I now have an appointment I have to remind myself that I'm sober now and I don't have any excuses about why I can't go. I just bite the bullet (though not very hard) and go to the appointment. It's like going to the gym, not that I go but, it's the same feeling of accomplishment of doing something that's good for yourself.

Serenity Practice: Courage...

Program Principle: Pray for the courage to change the things you can.

If you are not living on the edge, you take up too much room."

Native American saying

Serenity Practice: Procrastination..
Program Principle: Do the unpleasant or unattractive first and get it out of your way.

"Procrastination is best put off until tomorrow."

Unknown author

Jack C.
The Serenity Project

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Read the previous post to see why this is here.

I was going to work early this morning but,

it's too foggy to even think about getting on Memorial with all those idiots that drive faster rather than slower when the weather gets bad. I'll wait for daylight.

I was just sitting here sipping my coffee when dance fever started. Either someone upstairs was practicing their dance steps or there was a fight going on. I heard the siren and thought, no, really. Suddenly the siren stopped just outside the front gate and there were the cops. Upstairs guy was out front talking to them. Hopefully he called them. I wouldn't have. I've been up since 5 am. so it wasn't waking me. I went to work for four hours yesterday and started to feel bad again and came home after buying some really good non-alcoholic cough medicine. Jeeze. Just one capful and no coughing for four hours. Seldom do you find something that works that good, right away.

Well, Houston City Council is getting ready to step on more of my smoker's rights. No surprise. I wish they'd concentrate more on clean air issues like big business instead of the poor people who can't fight city hall. I did email all of them with my wishes (what the heck) and asked if they drove SUV's and said there should be a law against them if they don't get good gas mileage and pollute the air I breath while I'm smoking. Maybe they'll see the irony.

Today I'm going to start taking half my usual dose of BP medicine. By Thursday, when I go to the Dr.'s I should know if that's working or not. I was supposed to go to this great, big, fabulous Fantasy Ball on Friday. I used to go all the time when I drank. I expected to go and stay for just an hour or so. That seems to be my limit to be around people who's main goal is to get plastered. It doesn't seem to bother me anymore that I don't drink but watching people get sloppy is not a pretty sight unless you happen to be doing it too. Ah well. No big deal. I've decided not to go because I'm still not feeling up to par. I was going to have a great costume though. I was going as Kinky Friedman. I can't think of a scarier costume in the whole wide world. (or person)

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sorry guys. I know it's been a while....

I've been busy. Who hasn't been? Sometimes it's just hard to balance everything. I'm just coming out of a 4 day funk which started on Tuesday night with a little sore throat. Wednesday at 9am the fever hit and by noon it was up to 103.2 Not a pleasant day. I was having trouble catching my breath but I wasn't congested at all. No cough or sign of a cold. Weird. Called the clinic and got an appt. for the next day at 4 pm and at 3 pm. my temperature dropped to 99. I still went, they still gave me an antibiotic and by 5 pm my temp was back up to 102.2 Had another miserable night and woke up with a temp of 100 which by this point made me happy. Had another not so good night and woke up this morning feeling almost normal. Well, normal temperature, I mean. I'm still week and shaky and I'm still not very hungry but I know I don't have any water weight on me at the moment. So because of all of those erratic sleep cycles I spent most of today napping and now I can't sleep. Figures.

A few moments ago, when I was in bed trying to sleep, I said the Serenity prayer. I've been building up a resentment. Actually, I think this one has been going on for about 25 years. Family stuff. We all get along really well when were together, which is about once a year. It's when we're apart that my resentment starts to build. My mom and her boyfriend left for Washington, D.C. for a little trip and didn't know when they'd be back. They left on Tuesday. This morning I tried her answer and her beau's cell answer so I left messages at both to call me. Did it again this afternoon. This evening called my answer and called my answer and left the same message wondering if anyone had talked to mommie dearest. No return calls yet and not likely to be tonight. I checked the weather station and Pennsylvania is still on the map so maybe one of them will call tomorrow. They almost never return my calls. They always say they meant to call but forgot. They don't ever just call to see how I am. If I didn't call them, they probably wouldn't notice. Kind of sad. They say they love me and I know I love them...their just so busy. Like I'm not? Ah well. I feel better for putting it down here at least. Guess I won't write them that nasty letter after all. I don't want to burn any bridges. I just want to be included in the family now that I'm sober, even if I am 1000 miles away. It shouldn't be too much to ask. Then again. Norris once told me I can't make people think what I want them to and I guess I'll just have to live with it. NIght. I promise I'll write more often.