Good Meeting Yesterday
Someone in the meeting yesterday said that when he burned his hand on the hot stove, he learned that he shouldn't touch it. When he (now I can't remember what he said next). But the gist of his talk was about for 20 years he drank even though he knew it was hurting him, just like when he burned his hand. It's the terrible disease of alcoholism in action. I know what he was talking about. When I would wake up each morning I'd check the garbage to see what I ate and drank that evening. I knew that my day would going to start with barfing and the shakes. And I'd check to see if the car was still there (one was stolen and stripped) or try to think where I might have parked it. My life was so unmanageable and I never blamed it on the alcohol. I blamed it on other people, fate, drugs anything but what it was. Drinking did one thing for me. It made me brave. Brave enough to go up to someone and talk or hit on them. Brave enough to do all the things I was afraid to do on my own. In the end I was always afraid. Afraid of who might say what, afraid of the dentist, the eye doctor, to leave the house (except to buy booze), to fly, etc. Dumb huh? I'm so glad I took the step to AA. My life is so good right now and I am grateful everyday to be alive and unafraid of what will come. Back to work. Later.