AA or the Highway
I know in my heart that there's nothing wrong with me. I know I'm a typical alcoholic. So I shouldn't feel bad about my 8 failures to stay sober in the last two years. It's not unusual. I'm no different than anyone else. I've made friends in the program who have relapsed. Some for days, weeks, months at a time. Some like me, a day or two here and there. I thank God that I haven't gone back out for an extended period of time, lately. My friend J came back yesterday after a few months out. She's in a hard spot at the moment but I hope she knows things will get better. They had, for her, once before and she can do it again. We all had a nice time last night going to dinner before dAAve spoke at the evening meeting. He did very well as I knew he would. So it was a good evening. Unfortunately I drank way too much iced tea and then couldn't sleep. Caffeine buzz. I normal have two cups of coffee each morning and maybe a coke once or twice a week. That's the extent of my caffeine addiction. So I read much of the night away and I didn't think about drinking. I'm noticing that I don't seem to think about drinking as much as I used to. Yes sometimes, out of the blue, a notion comes that says I could drink but I've picked up so many tools by going to AA meetings that I can usually talk or trick myself out of it. I've realized that I now have many friends who genuinely care about me and what's going on with me. I've very lucky. When I went back out for those two days and came back I realized that AA is now and forever will be, a part of my life. I won't ever give up. One day at a time.