What a Difference Sobriety Makes
I'm sitting here, 20 minutes before I have to go to a job interview and I'm calm. It's a miracle. When I was drinking I would be a nervous wreck by now, hell I would have been a wreck for the last two days. I would have drunk every night so I could quiet the thoughts about what if, what should I say, what if they, what if I, etc..and that's not happening this time. Yeah I think I'd like this job if I get it but I realize it's not life or death. From what I understand, I'd be a good fit for the kind of work they need done but if they don't hire me - it's their loss. No ego there, eh? So in a few minutes I'll get dressed and go and if it doesn't work out, I won't have to drink over it and if it does work out, I won't have to drink to celebrate. I guess that just means I won't be drinking today. Another problem with looking for work while continuing to drink all the time is that no matter how much you brush, gargle etc., you still reek of liquor. Vodka too. Tuesday makes 6 months for me and I feel fairly confident I'll get there for the first time. I can do this but not alone. I really rely on my AA friends and a few others not in the program to give me the support that I used to think liquor gave me. It wasn't support but avoidance. Ah well, Off I go, High ho, High ho.
Just got back. Got the job. Got $1 more than I asked. Life is good.