I used to love musicals when I was a kid.

I saw RENT last night on video. My friend Mike asked me if I knew what it was about and I told him no and he said it's about squatters and AIDS. I told him it wouldn't bother me. I can watch AIDS movies and not get more verklempt than I usually do at movies. I sniffled a little bit at the end. I loved it! I liked every single song. The cast was great. Enough of the review.
It made me remember where I was and what I was doing in 1989. It made me reminisce about old friends and lovers who have passed on due to AIDS. It made me remember what it was like to be a squatter. In 1978, I had just become an executive buyer for Kaufmann's Department Store in downtown Pittsburgh. I'd just bought my first new car and had moved to the big city and was living with my brother's ex-girlfriend and another girl and another guy. We lived in this huge, top floor apartment in a building called "The Ellsworth" on Fifth Avenue in Shadyside. It was winter and the heat went out and stayed out. The landlord couldn't or wouldn't fix it. Carol, one of the girls I lived with took matters into her own hands and canvassed the building getting signatures and promises to send the rent to her and she'd put in an escrow account which would hold the money from the landlord utile he fixed the heater. It never happened. And like the characters in RENT, we carried portable heaters with us as we moved from room to room. I had to laugh at the irony of being an "executive" and living like a bum. There's nothing quite like getting up in the morning and seeing your breath while your still in bed. Then running to the kitchen (warmest room in the house) and start heating up the water on the stove so you can bathe and shave. Then putting on your suit and tie and commuting into the city. An executive instead of squatter, once more.

On another subject: That apartment I was thinking of moving to, the rent has been lowered again and it's even more affordable now. Something's just not right about that apartment. I feel it. It makes me hesitant to take the chance on a move there. It's a gut feeling. Nothing I can pinpoint exactly. I know that when I've ignored that feeling before I've regretted it. Sometimes God gives you a hint or a nudge to do the next right thing. I think I'll stay here for a while. The "right" apartment will come along and there's no pressing reason for me to move. Speaking of moving, my job is moving next Wednesday. I've been putting in extra hours trying to get ready and I started packing yesterday. It's exciting and scary. One day at a time.

I also wanted to say that while I'm not as lucky as dAAve in that he's had all cravings of alcohol removed from him...I do feel lucky that I can now go for weeks at a time without a craving. Lately, it's been more about nostalgia then anything else. It's so easy to romanticize the way it used to be. Ha. I know better. It really, never was all that pretty and neither was I.