Link I'll never drink again Vol. 2: After such a moving gratitude list how can I write this on the same day?

Friday, June 10, 2005

After such a moving gratitude list how can I write this on the same day?

This is just not going well. I saw my therapist today and once again he reminded me about my going from zero to sixty in such a short time. I didn't go to the gym on Wednesday, I slept. I'm not going today, I just got up from a 2.5 hour nap. I wish I'd never joined. This isn't about the crying jag. This is about biting off more than I can chew. I know, I know. The whole time I wasn't working all I wanted to do was work. And the whole time I wasn't working out all I wanted to do was work out. So what's the problem? I still feel tired all the time. I still feel depressed. I keep wondering if my meds are working properly. I still like the job. I just don't want to do so much after I get off work. At least not yet. I've changed my mind. Is that alright? I need to be able to savor my down time. God I sound selfish. I don't like this new me. This is not going well, at all.

4 Comments:

Blogger dAAve said...

A little trial and error. You'll find the HAPPY MEDIUM where you feel comfortable and then you can set a sort of "routine" if that's what you want.

Remember one thing we hear a lot of --- "God won't give you more than you can handle." We don't always know how much that is until we test it. Nothing to be depressed about, actually it should be something to be happy about. You have learned what you can handle - at this time in your new sobriety. This will change sometime in the future and you can make the necessary adjustments then.

3:44 PM  
Blogger Scott W said...

Slow down. You said before that you can set your own hours, so set them to suit your needs. If it is important to you, YOUR SOBRIETY COMES FIRST! All the rest will fall into place. love you

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Larry, as indicated in your other two messages, you are taking on too much too soon. Drop back, reevaluate, and adjust your schedule accordingly. As Scott suggested, sobriety takes priority over everything else. Maybe your frustration lies somewhat in your not giving sobriety its due. If they allow you to, try working out without a trainer for a while. I know then you can set your own routine. Trainers are useful when you want to push yourself harder than you would by yourself. They are not just getting into shape. Auntie Noor Noor

9:44 AM  
Blogger doughgirl said...

Part of the problem with being tired, could be the meds themselves. Im NOT telling you not to take them, just letting you know that the meds can make you very very tired, so what may seem like something is wrong, could be alright..ya know.
I do think finding the balance is key here. I had to take time off from the gym as well, I feel horrible about it, I fell like Im missing something big in my life..probably ego. However, I will get through this like everything else...clean and sober.

9:15 AM  

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