Went to get my results from the doctor yesterday.
Not a lot of good news but it could be much worse. At any rate, I have another two months to get my cholesterol and my viral load back down. Otherwise it's back on the drugs. I explained to my doctor that I wasn't ready to go right back on them. That I'm the kind of person who has to think about it first, look up the probable side effects and then decide what I'm going to do. I'm not the kind of patient who just says, "Yes doctor. I'll do whatever you tell me to do." I wouldn't still be alive if I'd said that 20 years ago. I thought I was OK with his diagnosis but when I was telling a friend about it, he asked if that meant I was going back on the drugs and I started explaining and getting angrier and louder until I realized what was coming out of my mouth. Ok. Good thing I see my therapist today. This is just the kind of thing I was worried about when I started thinking about going full time at work. There are no guarantees in life but at least I have an idea of where my problems might come from. I had a little good news yesterday. Seems my liver and it's functions are completely normal. That's great considering what that poor organ has been through. Hepatitis, alcohol, drugs, HIV drugs and of course...age. Always look on the bright side. Sunny side of the street. Good ship lollipop, etc. Oh. I did think about drinking yesterday. The news was upsetting enough that it just came into my head that it was a really good reason to drink. Like I need a reason! My head does that sometimes but not nearly as often as it used to. That's something to be grateful for and I just used HALT to wipe out the thoughts. A nap, a good meal and I never thought about it again. Peace guys.