Link I'll never drink again Vol. 2: Birthday Night

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Birthday Night

I went to an AA meeting last night. It was Birthday night for people who have one year sobriety or more. I had a good time and got to sit with my friend Janet. It was a moving experience. A full house, standing room only. That means there were at least 200 people there all there to cheer those people on. My sponsor's sponsor picked up her 26th year chip. What an accomplishment! Today's Easter. I got sober for the seventh time, 140 days ago. November 8, 2004. I started drinking November 3, 2004. It was election day and I wasn't celebrating. I drank out of fear, not just of Bush but afraid that I couldn't do what needed to be done. I know it's cryptic, it's just hard to explain. I've had some really rough patches this time around and I haven't had to get drunk over it. I'm not saying I didn't think about it. My brain just naturally goes to liquor to solve my problems. But I have noticed that my brain is learning other ways to deal too. After the initial "I wish I had a drink" feeling I get the "Now why did I think that" feeling. Then I get to analyze why my brain went there and I know what I can do to alleviate that feeling. It means Blogging, calling someone, eating, napping or being with someone. I'm not lonely even though I'm alone. I walk the dog allot more than I used to. He doesn't complain. So I guess where this is going is that I've changed and I think for the better. I'd like to become closer to my family. So many people don't have that option. I'm willing but my family has been out of my life for so many years now, I'm not sure they even want to be that close. I'm only a phone call away and yet they seldom call. The only person who seems to keep us together is Mommie Dearest. Ah well, just one more thing not to drink over. I've decided to start the Steps again. I only ever did the first one and it was so long ago I can't remember what I decided. I don't know why I've put it off but it's time to rectify that issue. I'm OK you're OK. I just won't drink today.


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